Renata in India: On Smiles, Independence, Transportation, and Tiramisu

In India, smiling can be dangerous. You smile at a man by accident and they immediately think you want to marry them. Or you forget to smile while your bargaining and get ripped off even worse than if you at least made a joke out of it. Usually I strut down the streets with a hard face and shoot disdainful looks if I do need to look anywhere, in an attempt to save myself the trouble of possible misunderstandings and unwanted personal interactions. I tend to reserve my smiles for my time with the other interns and my runs in the gym. This past week however, something happened on Wednesday. I suddenly found it easier to smile, to really look at people, not cringe away from eye contact, and talk to strangers more kindly. For a couple of hours there was a power outage at the office, which gave me an opportunity to finally begin reading the assigned reading for Tucker Fellows: Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life by Karen Armstrong. It had some thought provoking, insightful comments about the development of compassion, joy, love and other tender, positive human emotions. I particularly enjoyed learning about how so many religions were born out of a burning need for compassion during times of war, ruthless market competition, disarray, and destruction. So it isn't religion itself that benefits humanity, because quite frankly in today's world it seems to do far more wrong than good, but it's the ideas and principles on which most religions are founded that we ought to learn from and live by. Instead of adhering to this or that one particular religion and thus creating more hate and divides between people, we should look at the deep, underlying ideologies that major world religions all have in common. Today we could definitely benefit from a revival of compassionate attitudes in every aspect of life, from family life to the office and the street. In many ways the unforgiving, cold, monetary profit oriented capitalist mindset that rules our lives is an enemy of compassion and can do more damage to human emotional development than bring happiness. We talk of socioeconomic status, state of economic development, and profit made as defining characteristics of individuals, organizations and whole nations. But these broad yet very limiting terms give no space for compassion, love, sympathy, selflessness, spirituality and non-materialistic happiness as a measure of well-being. When it comes to spirituality for example, the U.S. is one of the least developed countries...

It was in pondering such thoughts that I began to look at fellow commuters on the bus and thought about what hardships each and every one of them must face in their everyday lives. Some faces revealed worry or stress, others were fatigued or pained, a few were deep in thought. Then I remembered my friends and family and what a blessed life I have. I recalled moments from my life when I have experienced true joy. I couldn't help but smile. Then I thought about how the other people on the bus must have joyous memories too, and I wished to tell them that such memories should be recalled frequently, even on a bus after a long and hard day of work. We all have pain and we all have joy, so it really is a matter of personal choice which we allow to take precedence at any given time. Or at least that is how I see it.

Wednesday night we went to Toit, a really nice bar, and had a great evening with lots of friends, both foreign and Indian. If I were staying in Bangalore longer I would probably need a lot more money to finance my social life, so in a way I guess it's good that I'm just beginning to discover the city social scene. India celebrated its 66th year of independence on Thursday. I wore a little pin with an Indian flag on it and attended some performances near our accommodations but I spent most of the day relaxing at home. It was refreshing to have the day off. Indians don't celebrate Independence Day the same way that we do. There are no fireworks, no family barbecue cookouts, and little patriotic gear. I heard that most of the celebration takes place in the nation's capital, New Delhi, and most Indians don't really do anything special to celebrate. Many people do not get the holiday off from work. So I was lucky in that respect!

Having come to India to learn about and get involved in environmental education, I was very excited when I finally managed to locate an organization that seemed to be doing just that. Reap Benefit is a small non-profit that focuses on practical environmental education for 10-12 year old children in both government and private schools. Their work is very commendable and I was very happy to get a chance to look at their curriculum and understand their models and methodology. I set out on Friday morning to have a meeting with the head of the organization, and the meeting went really well. I wish I had found them sooner and got a real chance to work with them! I feel that with them I would have found my work much more fulfilling and exciting.

At this point I would like to dedicate and entire paragraph to my transportation struggles of the day, because they are worthy of a laugh and illustrate Bangalore’s public transportation system quite well. I left home at 9 am and caught a bus to the closest main station. From there I purchased pre-paid tickets for a rickshaw to take me to the part of town where the Reap Benefit office is located. I thought I made a smart decision because in this way the autowallas couldn’t rip me off. The rickshaw ride was pleasant enough and I even ended up giving money to a beggar, but I’m not sure why. I never do that. Ever. And yet this day I did and she said thank you and didn’t complain about the amount like most others do. But just when I thought that I had escaped the typical rickshaw hassle, the driver took me to the wrong location, and having never been there, I didn’t realize that I was in the wrong place until after I have already paid him and he drove away. I walked around like a confused fool for a little but then asked a stranger for directions. He determined that I was about 5-6 bus stops away from where I was supposed to be, and he kindly directed me to the bus stop and showed me which bus to take. When I got off the vehicle, I still didn’t know which way to go, because the landmark I was looking for was not visible from the bus stop. I asked three different people for directions and they all said something different. Then I called the man I was meeting and luckily he was able to direct me to his office through the phone. Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t frustrated or angry at all. In fact, I was quite irrationally calm and at peace. After the meeting I found my way to the metro station, thinking that I would take a metro to somewhere near my current workplace and take a bus from there. After a good 15 minute walk I located the station and learned that no metro was actually going in the direction that I needed. So I proceeded to call my boss to ask him how I could get to work from where I was. It seemed that I would need to take two more buses, and each ride would be about 30 minutes long. I then continued walking around like a fool and I literally asked someone which way the destination of my first bus was while spreading my arms out and pointing up and down the street, just so that I could determine which side of the road I would need to stand on to catch a bus. I was fortunate to run into a lady who was headed to the bus stop herself so she accompanied me there and pointed out which bus I needed to take. The ride was relatively uneventful, except that just before exiting the vehicle, a stranger with a kind smile placed a little card with Jesus on it in my hands and said “God bless you” with so much warmth in her eyes and smile that I could feel her kindness warm my soul. She made me think of this book I recently read about the early days of Christianity in Rome. In Quo Vadis the first Christian communities are portrayed as kind beyond measure, loving, accepting, and dirt poor in a filthy, corrupted city of many different gods none of whom seemed to have any real power left. Almost unwittingly I held the little card close to my heart for the rest of my journey.

Upon reaching the bus station, I again faced the struggles of finding a bus that would take me farther. Not knowing bus numbers or the right platform, I looked for an information booth but couldn’t find one. I continued asking around, but eventually I saw a bus number I recognized and after confirming with the driver, I took a familiar route to work. After some book work at the WLF office Benoit and I went home at a reasonable time and we all got ready for a night at ICE bar with our Indian friends. It was a fun and enjoyable ending to a long and eventful day!

Saturday and Sunday were lazy days. Nadia bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday and we bought ingredients to make tiramisu together. We actually ended up making it on Monday night, ate it for Tuesday breakfast, and since I brought some to work for my coworkers and boss to taste, my manager now wants me to go to his house and teach his wife how to make tiramisu! I’m just nervous about whisking the egg whites with a fork, because I never can get it to be hard enough.

I had a fantastic lunch with Anu on Sunday with deep and meaningful conversation for dessert. On my way home I once again did something I never do. I allowed a fundraiser to stop me and talk to me about her charity for cancer patients and I ended up donating money. Seriously, what is wrong with me? I don’t even have my own paycheck and I go around giving money to beggars and charities. But at least I’m not spending it on stuff I don’t need, right?

For dinner Emma and I visited an Italian place close to our home and had incredibly tasty pudding with ice cream. So yes, in retrospect I think my weekend revolved mostly around food.